This is my life story.
People say it inspires us.
Here it goes.
My parents had one daughter within one year of their love marriage. My mom somehow wanted a second child, even if my Dad was not agreeing to this. When something is about to happen in life, the whole universe starts playing its role.
After 7 years, my mom was pregnant again, and my father did not want the child. He took her to the abortion center and told the Doctor that they did not want a second child. My mother was very clear that she wanted to keep the child.
My mom is a typical homemaker with limited qualifications. For me, she is my soulmate and my strength.
My mother requested the lady doctor in the OT that she didn't want to abort the child. But to keep it. She begged for the Doctor's help.
The Doctor agreed, but she informed my mother that she should sign on the paper, written: "Abortion not done ." And also your husband will have to sign it. My mom agreed to this. Miraculously, my Dad signed the paper but could not read the words " Abortion not done ." Mom came home behaving like everything was normal. My mom's vomiting was not stopping. She confused my Dad saying it's acidity. By the 7th month, her stomach was visible, and my father got furious.
My mom just said she wanted this child, and God has helped her with that. I was born a girl in October 1979. My father named me " Uninvited guest ." He was not happy at all. For about 4 to 5 years, he used to call me by that name everywhere.
I was growing, but we always had our differences. After my tenth standard, I enrolled in a Diploma in Opthalmology, a two-year full-time course from SNDT girls college. My father said he had inquired from a friend that it is a good course for girls and I should do it. I just followed.
We come from a lower-middle-class family, where my father earned enough to run the house but not that much that we could save any extra money. We were 5 members at that time, and only 1 person was earning. My sister started earning later and helping my father until she got married. My father's salary was not enough to support the cost of living in Mumbai, so he needed a helping hand monetarily. After my sister got married, I started working part-time with an optician in the evening while studying at SNDT. My first paycheck was Rs 1200/-.I used to give Rs 1000/- to Dad and 200 I kept for my pocket expense.
I started my full-time job in 1999. In the mornings, I used to work with a doctor and evening with an optician. There were no holidays, as the optician was closed on Sunday evenings and the Doctor was closed on Monday morning (that also occasionally). I was paid in total with both the jobs 3500/-. I crossed 23 years of my age during this time, and my parents wanted me to get married.
They made me see some eligible bachelors, then I did know how bad and different the outside world is. I forgot to mention that I always had a few good and genuine friends. I met a guy through a marriage bureau, the meeting was arranged by my parents, I went to meet him. I was too naive to understand marriage and its responsibilities. By asking a few questions like do you like watching movies / you like eating outside..etc., some basic questions on which you cannot decide to spend a life with that person. When I came home, my Dad asked what the answer was; I told them to give me a Day. I was blank, thought this was the best thing for me as of now, as my career was stagnant, it was not moving up nor down. The following day, I told Dad I was ready to marry him. My parents had already matched our horoscopes. I asked for a copy of the horoscope after saying yes to my father. He was reluctant to give me. After insisting, he gave it later.
I had a colleague working with me at the Doctor's place in the morning. Her father-in-law used to see the horoscopes. I told her to help me out with our horoscopes.
Preparation for my engagement was going on. During this time, Siddharth, my fiancé, often met in the evenings after work. I slowly realized he loves drinking. He was clear about continuing my job, and I should give my earnings to him at the end of the month. This thought was bothering me as I wanted to continue helping my father after marriage.
We got engaged, although there was a lot of uneasiness and confusion in my head. After the engagement, he wanted to get physical with me. I refused. He was angry. He used to drink daily and even smoked often. He used to take money from his granddad for all his luxuries. He used to teach tuitions at home, and that money was not sufficient for all his luxuries.
I later realized that his father also drank daily. He was having a fling with his friend's wife, and I saw him doing some actions with her in front of me. He thought that I was unaware. I came home and shared all with my parents; they said things would change after marriage. I need to be patient. I somehow felt that something is wrong. I started avoiding him.
On the 7th of October, he called him at night and forced me to come over to his place for Navratri. I refused to meet him and started crying bitterly. I spoke to my parents and insisted that I did not want to continue this relationship. He is a guy with bad habits. I did not like all this. They were not ready to listen. I spoke to one of my neighbors, who is now more like family friends. they spoke to my father and insisted that let's observe this guy. Your daughter cannot be completely wrong.
Finally, the truth came out. He and his entire family were bankrupt. On 9th October night, my father said ok, we call off the engagement. I was at peace. but he said not on the 10th, as that was my birthday. but despite my birthday, finally, we called off the engagement. My family and I went through a major emotional trauma.
Siddharth never met me nor called after the 7th of October. This was a major turning point in my life. I wanted to do something on my own. But with this job and my current qualification, it was not possible. I was only 10th pass at the age of 27. A diploma in Opthal had no value in the outside world.
I decided to study further. My Dad was reluctant. My horoscope with Siddharth never matched. My father lied to me for that. He confessed to me later. I was very badly hurt as I was just a burden to him, nothing else, although I was helping him in my way.
I wanted to appear for my HSC exams. I had terrific friends in my life. They were a huge support and whatever I am today is because of them. It almost ended in October, and the HSC exams were in Feb. I was late for my enrollment. We found a college that was affiliated with Maharashtra Board. Paid fees with Penalty and got the admission. It was almost November end. Mid of Feb was my exams.
I was going to study almost after a break of 8 years without any coaching as this was through correspondence. I promised myself to give my best. Both my jobs were on, and I only applied for leaves for those 8 days of my exam. And yes, my salary was deducted for those 8 days.
When I went to the exam center, there were kids of 17 / 18 years, and here I am, 26, appearing for my 12th.I had no clue of what was going to happen. I just focused on doing something big on my own and proving it to my Dad. Results came in June, I passed my 12th with 60%. I was on cloud nine, delighted and Dad was shocked.
After that, I started looking out for a regular corporate job. Also decided to study further and complete my graduation. Applied for the first-year BA at Mumbai University through distance education. In the meantime, I got a job in one of the well-known Pharma companies. It was a receptionist job with some admin work. I was happy. My pay was 12000/-, which was a huge jump for me.
Things started moving in positive directions. I worked for the pharma company for 2 years from 2006 to 2008 then I got a job in a well-known consumer brand in the HR & Admin Dept. I worked there from 2008 to 2010. In the meantime, I completed my graduation. I did my BA in Sociology from Mumbai University and got my degree in 2009. In2010, I got a job with a European MNC, and it was a dream job and another turning point for me. I did my Diploma in HR & PGDBA from Welingkars but through correspondence.
I still felt incomplete, so I applied for CET to pursue MBA. I had appeared for the entrance exam for three colleges, Welingkars / Somaiya and Jamnalal Bajaj. No one knew about this except a friend who had been with me since my struggling days; he was more than a friend. He was my support, like my mom. God and my loved ones' blessings helped me get through in Jamnalal Bajaj.
I started studying Master's in HR at Mumbai University. I had a crazy schedule. I had a demanding job-based at Andheri starting at 9:00 am and would end by 7:00 pm. Then rush to Churchgate to attend college as my course was part-time evening college. I would leave college by 9 pm and reach home by 10:30 daily. Weekends used to go for extra lectures, assignments, and projects. Life was hectic, but I loved the pace.
My entire education, 12th onwards, was sponsored by me. Yes, I did take loans from my friends, which I paid back later.
As time passed, my father was diagnosed with mouth cancer. My college started in June, and he was detected with cancer in August. Everything was changed then as I had to juggle between office/college and hospitals. The major obstacle was the money problem, as cancer is an expensive disease. Got his entire treatment done in Hinduja hospital. My friends and their extended families and friends helped with donations, but the cancer was spreading all over. My Dad was deteriorating. During my exams, he underwent surgeries and heavy chemo sessions. My sister was there for help, but she also had her family and responsibilities. So it was mom and me. Mom was also old to be given any burden, so I had to take over.
In my last semester in 2013, I did not have money to pay my fees of 60k as my father's treatment was more important. I decided to drop out. My project teammates realized this and convinced me not to drop out. They all collected the money and paid my fees. God helped me once again.
Took a loan from my company for my father's treatment. Dad's condition was getting critical; cancer had spread everywhere. And my Dad and I had the last heart-to-heart chat in August when he was nothing but bones. He was unable to eat and needed help with everything. He was a handsome-looking man till 65 years of his life. He told me that night how proud he was of me and looked upon me as the son in the family. He was sorry and guilty for what he did to me in the past. He said that I fulfilled all the responsibilities more than expected. He kissed my hand with tears then put his hand on my head. We both were in tears as we knew that very little time was left now.
Doctors had told us that he would not live more than 6 months. He was in tremendous pain, he had multiple fractures, his cancer had spread in his bone. He passed away in his sleep on the 22nd of September 2013 at home. I had lost my father. Believe me, friends, life completely changes when you lose your parents. It is a massive loss. He was cremated on 23rd September morning. The pyre was lit by my sister and me.
Only me and mom were left now. I realized that his blessings were there with us always. I had my 5th sem exams starting on the 3rd of October. Results were out in Jan 2014. I had failed in one subject, First ATKT, throughout my education. But I did not give up and decided to reappear in September 2014. Life was just getting back to normalcy, and suddenly there was another setback. My mother was detected with breast cancer in October 2014. I was frozen. God cannot do this to me.
Got her treated in Holy Spirit hospital in November. She again had taken help from friends and family and did her treatment. Fortunately, she was detected in the first stage, and the Doctor said not to worry at all. I was going under depression as I did not know what was happening to me. For 5 days, when mom was in the hospital, I stayed with her in her room. I was afraid to stay home alone.
One of my friends suggested that I should initiate some energy healing for my mother so that she would heal faster. Even though her medicines were going on. She introduced me to the man, Mayur, who used to heal cancer patients. He came home, saw my mom, and started the treatment. I told him I did not have any money to give him. He said neither did he want any. He used to do free cancer healing. My mom was getting healed. During that time, I was undergoing major depression and panic attacks. I had to take medical help from a psychiatrist. I took anti-depressants and medicines to calm my anxiety as I just could not sleep and live a normal life.
It was the month of January 2015. Mayur, the healer, used to come home regularly on weekends to heal my mom. as he did not charge, I decided to invite him for dinner and buy a gift. My mother used to like him a lot. When we went out for dinner after that, we went to the beach, and there he said he wanted to share something with me. I said go ahead. He said, "I want to marry you." I was blank. I never expected this from him. He said the way you have taken care of your parents is amazing and how you live your life. It is a big salute. I said only one thing I am responsible for my aged mother; I cannot leave her alone. He said he was aware of everything. We left.
I shared this with my mother. She was thrilled and told me to give it a thought. I inquired about him with a few common friends. All I came to know about him was that he was a sincere man with no baggage. I decided to say yes after 15 days, after my mother's consent. He had also spoken to his parents about me. As he was earnest, I met his parents on the 1st of February 2015, and we got engaged on the 21st of March 2015. He is Maharashtrian Regved Brahmin, and I am Guju Vaishnav. My mother was pleased, and so was my father up above there.
We got married on the 26th of November 2015, and now it's been 6 years. Life has changed for good. I am happy; we did not match the horoscope, nor did we intend to. And yes, I completed my MBA and got my degree in 2015 September. Today I am heading HR for a media company for 250 employees single-handedly. I stay Monday to Friday with my in-laws and hubby and spend weekends with my mom. My salary remains with me, and I continue to take care of mom as I was doing before. My husband earns enough for all 4 of us. He is a qualified civil engineer, working with an MNC apart from doing healings.
Guys, I have just one thing to say at the end, believe in yourself and your potential. God always shows opportunities behind every setback. And also, believe in the blessings of your parents. They are as powerful as God's.
If happy days do not stay long, sad days don't remain for a long time either.
Signing off
Bhavita 😊
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Bhavita Banker
( India )