I think this is a question that has haunted us mothers time and again, and lets be honest most times it actually leaves us frustrated that it doesn't happen naturally in a lot of cases. And as if we didn't have enough on our plate we have to do something about it too. Isn’t it crazy. But what time has taught me is that instead of getting worked up about it let’s just help them.
What I have also realised is that sometimes it's just a function of work and worldly stress, i.e because they are travelling extensively, or because it's just the social norm. So let's help them find and develop that bond with the kid beyond just the natural one of being a biological father.
Find an activity or a topic that your husband loves doing be it sports / science / maths / reading / playing instrument anything and let that be something that your kid does only with his / her father (and hence best if it isn’t school work). For me it was Science experiments, so I bought a bunch of science experiment kits for them and just didn’t get involved in them (its a lot harder that you think to just hold back). It was and still is something that she does only with her daddy. If he’s travelling (which was 15 days a month pre-COVID) she had to wait and make sure he gives her the required attention on the weekend to do the kit’s.
But as he loved science himself it was a welcome break for him, he started to look forward to his time with her and what new kit they would do. After a long time but now they actually go shopping for these kits by themselves and manage it end to end. I mean the clean up part too…….. O YESSSSSSS (I can almost dance to this achievement of mine).
I am no childcare expert but I firmly believe in merits of having an active father in a child's life specially growing up years. An active involvement of fathers can change and shape a child’s confidence dramatically. My daughter and my husband are much closer now and confident that they can function together and survive
To learn more, click on
the tags below:
Life Experiences and Learning | Women
Community | Women In Business
Tulika Garg
( Singapore )